I’ve been attempting to get through this record for several weeks since its release. Driving home running some errands yesterday, I had a listen to this song and the chorus really hit me.
I don’t want to dance anymore with dark nostalgia // I don’t want to hold hands with the dreams of a dead man // and I don’t want to dance anymore with dark nostalgia // I don’t want to hold hands with the dreams of the dead man
[Persephone by John Mark McMillan]
Honestly, I have no clue what John was writing about, if this had some bigger political meaning, or a very personal one. Regardless, it hit me in the heart. I don’t want to hold hands with dreams of dead men; I want something fresh and new and vibrant.
How many times have you held onto a dream that you really knew you needed to let go of? I’ve found in my own life that holding on to an old dream, and maybe more so the belief in how that dream was to be realized, actually suffocates it. For many years after I made the decision to pursue music as a career, I had one idea in mind. The vision looked one way, and if I didn’t have that thing, that way, I failed.
And while that dream propelled me to make decisions with such determination that I may not have had otherwise, it also locked handcuffs to my wrists. Looking back, so many things happened that didn’t turn out exactly as I imagined but absolutely fulfilled that dream. And yet, deep in my own mind, because I was almost blinded by the original vision for my life, I was never satisfied.
I genuinely believe that dreams are living things. If we lock them up in our heart, deprive them of encouragement and love and light, they will die. But we’re so hellbent on the original, that we don’t see the beauty in allowing a dream to evolve, change, grow! We have to give them space, we have to feed them passion; most of all, we have to be open to the reality that our dreams will look different than they did 5, 10, 15 years ago.
It’s a human’s prerogative to change. This little baby now growing inside of me will be born. And then that baby will grow into a toddler, a toddler into a child, a child into an adult. You could say that the years we pass through die away, and we can’t adequately function in society as adults if we’re still stuck in the days of being a child. We were made to grow, and so were our dreams.
Don’t be afraid to loosen your grip on the dreams of 20 years ago. Lay them to rest. Allow a new thing to emerge and inspire you in its place. I have a good feeling that these new dreams will carry the characteristics of the old, but be something even more beautiful than if you’d continued to dance with dark nostalgia. Embrace your present creativity, your present purpose, your present self, knowing that even if you haven’t seen that old dream actualized, when you let it go, a new, fresh, exponentially better one will make its way into your heart.
Read the Intro Post: A Journey of 31 Days
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