I remember a couple of weeks ago when there was a slight delay in my visa. I had one of the most overwhelming panic attacks, probably of my life. It was weird because I’d been operating on such big faith in the previous days that I didn’t understand why something as small as a slight delay would send me into a freak out. After calming down and having a very intense discussion with God, I came to this conclusion, sending out a tweet that said, “God is bigger than the bump in the road.”
I’m finally to a point where I can stand up out of bed for longer than a few minutes. It’s been the worst 10 days I’ve had in a while. There’s no explanation to why I got as sick as I did. The timing seems oddly perfect to derail what I thought was God’s plan for me to go to the UK this year. Many of you know, I ended up not getting on that flight last Sunday, and much to my disappointment (and fault for not reading the fine print), lost out on over $1000 worth of plane ticket. Nonrefundable.
Yes, I haven’t even left the USA and I’m already experiencing the adventure. It appears the road bumps got quite a bit bigger, but today I’m reminding myself again, God is bigger than the bump in the road.
I just took a look at my bank account and no, I don’t know how I’m supposed to make another plane ticket purchase work. I’d saved up enough for that last ticket and then an extra $1500 or so of expenses. Now it looks like any kind of safety net is going to be gone and I don’t like the feeling of that. I’m admittedly worried that God won’t come through this time.
However, back when I worried about my visa coming through, God asked if I would trust Him even if I didn’t get to go when I thought I would. I came to a point of saying, yes God, it’s only money. If you can help me afford one plane ticket you can do it again. Nothing should stop me from believing that’s true today. I’m holding on to my bank account so tightly because I’m afraid it’s all I will have. But we know what happens when we give back to the Lord: multiplication.
I’ve been tithing and giving, but I think that even more than that, God wants me to trust that taking another big leap of faith is not going to end in ruin. The last may have appeared to, but in actuality, staying home allowed me to get to a doctor and spend the past 10 days getting well here, rather than away from my mom in a foreign country. It was a blessing to miss that flight, no matter the expense.
My friend Mere Knox asked me if I still believed that God told me to go to Freedom all those weeks ago. She said, ” If you have that (knowing God told you to go), don’t let the seeming obstacles stop you. They may have slowed you, but don’t let them stop you.”
It was the truth I needed to remember not to doubt in the dark what God tells you in the light. It’s not easy and He never said it would be. But it’s a choice to stand on truth versus what might appear to be masquerading as such in front of us.
So I’m going to keep pressing on! If you would be in major prayer with me about this plane ticket, I need a straight up miracle to afford another one this late in the game, but God can do it!
And if you’d still like to give to my year, I have a lot more to raise. Please consider and stop by the site: http://youcaring.com/nextstopfreedom
Thanks so much everyone,