Truth vs Emotion

This morning, I stood in front of the mirror, honestly wishing that what I saw would disappear. I felt worthless, ugly, distant, unaccomplished, undesirable, and wretched. Much of what I felt resulted from this cyclical hormonal imbalance most women often incur. The other part is pain from a continued chipping away at my stone-like heart.
My eyes welled up with tears, thankfully before I applied my mascara, as I prayed and asked God to make me beautiful. I’m 26 years old and I still…STILL…deal with this junk. In the most distant part of my mind, it was almost as if he audibly spoke to me. I was reminded of this cute vintage dress I have and I felt him say, “you should wear that today.”
It seems like the most insignificant thing, but I took his advice and changed my outfit. I did my hair different, finished my makeup and felt a bit better about the girl walking out the door.
I journaled some during my quiet time, expressing my hurt from the morning. My prayer continued to be that I would think more like Jesus: that my thoughts would be his thoughts. I inscribed truths on the pages, things I could only say about myself because I knew he said them first.
My day went on, and seemingly hour by hour, I felt better. I laughed more than I’ve laughed in weeks, I spent time with the best people in the world, I played music, accomplished so many great things. I was even complemented on my outfit & the way I did my hair.
I started the day ugly and alone because, in my eyes, it’s all I could see. But I asked for a true perspective and God answered with the most love and fulfillment I’ve experienced in a long time.
Tomorrow I may wake up and deal with this all over again, but The Lord came through today. I’m hoping that means it will be easier to believe he will again tomorrow.

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