I find human beings fascinating. That’s probably why I initially began college with plans to study medicine, and later spent most of my four years attending classes about psychology and communication. However, as most undergraduates find, after gaining their degree at a liberal arts institution, we left learning next to nothing. As much as humans intrigue me, I have, in no way, developed and/or applied a useful theory to understand them.
And here I sit, writing as though I’m an alien.
Have you ever felt so awkward around a person, unable to really make sense of anything you say? You think you’re placing words together to form sentences, and yet those phrases only gain you looks of utter confusion? As this person, you know you’re intelligent. You know you can keep a decent conversation. You know you have legitimate questions. Yet somehow, you end up sounding like a completely ridiculous, nonsensical idiot.
Maybe this happens more when we are trying to be something we aren’t. Maybe it happens because of fear that being ourselves isn’t good enough for the situation. Maybe conversations such as these wouldn’t take place if we would just realize we can only be the best “me” we were created to be. Maybe this would all be easier if feelings weren’t involved.
I wish I knew how to realistically embrace the awkward. Instead of running home and over analyzing every single dumb thing mentioned, we suck it up, take a deep breath, and continue on even when it seems like the situation has taken an unfortunate social nosedive. Who knows: maybe after embracing our own awkwardness, someone might actually find it awesome and want to embrace it too.