The Waiting

The more I get to know God, the more I’m genuinely blown away by his goodness. I’m amazed how he can use the most mundane of circumstances, like cooking, for instance, and speak volumes of wisdom into my life.

Today was a wonderful day. Aside from the slight anxiety attack which ensued while combing through my to-do list, I was happy to be back at work. However, as the day neared its close, I began to get agitated. This happens a lot toward the end of a day because my body is usually informing me that my blood sugar is low. Anyway, it’s safe to say, I was hungry.

While it had been a good day, it was also a very mentally taxing day. The last thing I wanted to do was go home and think of what to cook for myself. Despite my desire to simply swing by a restaurant for something fast, easy and overpriced, I wound up at a local grocery store. I think it’s a common understanding that one should never grocery shop while hungry, yet for some reason, probably because this certain store has pretty pricy goods, I only bought what I really needed. I wasn’t sure what I was going to make, but I knew that what I got at the store would prepare me for any of the ideas I had as I browsed the aisles. The cashier loaded up a recycled box filled with my goodies, which made my outlook on life gain new heights knowing I was saving the environment one bag at a time, and I headed home.

After unpacking my finds and depositing them in their specified locations of refrigeration, I took a survey of what I had to work with. It looked very promising, so the cooking began. Over the next hour, I prepared my meal. I was even excited to find a perfect addition stowed in the back of a cupboard. Everything seemed to fall into place. I poured myself a glass of wine, sat down at my dining room table alone, thanked God, and savored each bite of my wholesome, organic, patiently perfected meal.

What would have happened if I took the quick and easy option? I’ve done it many times before. I get my food, scarf it down, call it dinner and move on. But this! This meal took longer. I sacrificed my desire for immediate fulfillment, but enjoyed it so much more.

God used dinner to talk to me about relationships.

An old friend from Europe caught up with me today. We exchanged stories of all the changes the last few months have presented us with. It was great to hear from him. He told me he’d been seeing a girl and that things were going well for the two of them. Following up the story he asked, “any young men in your life?”

I laughed as I always do and replied, “none that have wanted to be any more than friends thus far.”

After pondering a moment he said, “it’s just shitty.”

Obviously sensing my bewilderment as to what was “shitty” he continued, “You’re such a beautiful and wonderful woman. Men are dumb.”

My reaction to things like this are nearly always the same: It’s just life. I’m not the kind of girl guys are looking to date.

But why?

My only answer comes from a message I heard this past Sunday at church: God will not be rushed.

I’m only three months in to my twenty-sixth year on this earth. I’ve never been in a legitimate relationship. I’ve been asked out maybe all of two times. It’s not something I think of as “abnormal” until I start looking around at all my friends who are getting married, or celebrating multi-year anniversaries, or having children.

I didn’t necessarily choose this path. It’s not like I wanted to be single this whole time. Up until this most recent birthday, it only bothered me on occasion. Now, finally in my “late twenties” I’m beginning to feel that I’m not getting any younger. Babies look cuter, I’m not annoyed by cheesy chick-flicks or seeing couples walk hand-in-hand through a park. Did I mention babies look cuter? My internal clock is screaming out HURRY UP AND FIND SOMEONE ALREADY!!!

Dear internal clock, I wish you understood it’s not that easy.

My natural mind is saying I should just swing by the quickest restaurant, order something cheap and call it dinner. But God is telling me if I wait, I’ll reap the satisfying benefits of patience. In her message at NewSpring yesterday, Cookie Cawthon reminded me that God has tons of purpose in the wait. She said, “We can choose to waste a wait, but we can’t avoid it.”

As I prepared dinner tonight, I was also able to make some things for my next day’s lunch, do a little cleaning, and simply relax. I purposed the wait. I know it’s something God is asking me to do with all this time. From now until the day I leave this earth, my main role is to serve the purpose of God in my generation. As Paul tells me, there is no more effective way to do that than in my singleness.

I don’t know why God has kept me single all these years. Despite a few stupid trips through the drive-thru, I now know for certain that only the best things come from being patient and spending a little extra time in the kitchen.


One thought on “The Waiting

  1. Brilliant my dear! This may or may not have anything to do with it, but my prayer has always been that God would bring you into the perfect relationship in HIS time, not ours. Your husband is worth waiting for. YOU are worth waiting for! I love you!


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