Am I the Heart Breaker?

This will be a short post. I think.
My friend Sam & I have been on an adventure around the upstate this past weekend. I love her. We have developed an incredibly honest friendship for only knowing each other such a short amount of time.
Our numerous car rides gave us ample time to discuss what The Lord is doing, how we’re being challenged and, of course, allowed for some girl-talk. She brings out the best in me, and, though she acts like a grandma sometimes, truly lets me be a kid again.
Today, I shared something with her that The Lord hit me with the other day. It was an “oh dang” moment. You see, we all have our crushes. I have them, she has them. I noticed that I start to get jealous when I see said person talking with another girl, or having a lot of girl friends. It doesn’t matter who they are, it’s my natural tendency to do this. The pattern is, I see it, then I feel really insecure, and never actually believe I’d have a shot. For this reason, I rarely assume guys have any interest in getting to know me more than a friend, immediately voiding any possibility of pursuit.
So I was talking about this with The Lord and He reminded me of all the guy friends I have. Then He led me to think, maybe there have been guys who look at you the same way you look at them. You have all these guys around you, who you know are just friends, but they don’t. Maybe they feel like you’d never give them the time of day either.
I think this stems from issues I need to get over, but I’m so quick to blame guys on being “heart-breakers” when maybe I look like one, myself. Until God opened my eyes, I literally had no idea this could be true. I had to find a view from the other side and realize that things aren’t often as they appear.

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