Not Big Enough

For all of you who don’t know me too well, I moved up into my “late twenties” this past Sunday. On this journey, I’ve been trying my best not to wish my life away, but I’m definitely ready for a new year.

My mom has always been my biggest fan (as most awesome moms are, right?). For the last few months, she’s encouraged me to go back and read what I’ve written via blog or journal entry and remember the goodness of the Lord. Because I don’t seem to find the time to do that, she printed out every single essay I’d written since the birth of Dulcet Prattle. Yes. Wow. And reading through entries of some two years ago, I can’t help but laugh. God is ridiculously amazing.

I was also back in my birth home this weekend, spending time in the house I grew up in. I laughed with an old friend about our middle school days and reflected on dreams that I had as a kid. I was the biggest dreamer; I guess I still am. Back then, I would never have pictured myself here. It goes to show that even our “big dreams” aren’t big enough for God.

I get choked up just thinking about it. Maybe I’m getting so emotional because I’m listening to Explosions in the Sky. Maybe it’s because I got to have a brief, yet awesome conversation today with a musician I greatly respect. Maybe God is just reminding me that I still only see a small piece of all He wants to do with my life. Maybe I’m truly seeing it’s SO not about me.

I look around at the amazing friends I have, the blessings I’ve received by taking some crazy steps out of what I knew was comfortable. I get to do what I love. I get to surround myself with people who love doing the same things. I can’t take any credit for it. I feel like screaming Psalm 89:1 at the top of my lungs:

I will sing of the steadfast love of the Lord, forever; with my mouth I will make known Your faithfulness to all generations. 

Despite the trials, the waiting, the disappointment, the anger, the fear, THIS is what remains true!

I look at the world and know I’ll never be deemed successful in her eyes, but I look at the Lord and hear Him say, “Bridget, you need to start dreaming bigger. 26 is just the beginning. The best is yet to come.”

I want this year to be one where I take myself even further out of my box and give God complete control. Maybe I will never see the plan to completion, but I want to be as much a part of it as I can.

I encourage you: just because you don’t see things going the way you thought they would, do not give up hope. Keep dreaming big. Put your trust in a God who never gives up on you. I’ve given God countless reasons to leave me and yet He stuck around. He wants to use us. It’s more about my surrender than it is about His desire for control.

“He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord.” Psalm 40:3

I’m excited to engulfed by the amazing things God is going to do with this year. Get ready to get wrecked.

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