It’s currently 12:41am – If someone offered me a million dollars to fall asleep, I don’t know if I could. Three hours ago I was yawning. Now, I feel like I had three cups of coffee…and tomorrow is a big freaking day…and I have to be up in 4 hours. Even if I would have fallen asleep when I intended, I’m sure the ginormous crack of thunder over my head would have woken me right up…and we’d still be in this conundrum.
Somewhere after the bright flash of lightening and that insane thunder clap, God spoke to me. It was crazy because as I was trying to fall asleep three hours prior, He was speaking too…but with a different voice. After this bizarre thunder storm, I feel like this might have been God’s point.
Earlier tonight (when I say “early” I mean about 10pm), as I attempted “Sleep: Round 1” words began filling my head. Good words. Beautiful words. Words I’ve never been able to speak over myself. To get a little real, God has been pushing on a very tender area of my life dealing with major insecurity. Just as things seem to be going great, I found myself overwhelmed with tears and pain, reliving hurts of my past I haven’t dealt with in years. I was nearing sleep as these amazing words and phrases started pouring over me like rain…just one drop after another. But they kept coming…I couldn’t think fast enough to make them up. It’s been a very long time since I’ve heard the Holy Spirit speak like that.
And then the thunder came.
Revelation 14:2 shot to my mind: And I heard a voice from heaven, like the sound of many waters and like the sound of loud thunder…
The greatness of God began to overwhelm me. I was literally shaken up after the thunder, it was so loud.
I remember as a kid, my dad and I would lay down in front of the screen door and watch the thunder storms in summer. He would tell me to watch for the lightening and then count the seconds till the thunder came. Supposedly it was a way to find out how many miles away the storm was. Scientifically, I don’t entirely trust its accuracy…but I’m sure when you account for the differential between the speed of light and speed of sound, it might be close. Tonight, there was no calculating. That storm was right over head.
God gave me two intense examples tonight of how He speaks. We can be in the midst of a horrible storm and His voice rings out over it all like thunder. Or it can be like a gentle rain…word after beautiful word. Both are powerful and yet sometimes we overlook each one. We might be too overwhelmed by the lightening and scared of the intensity of the thunder to miss the point. Or we may get distracted by the rain and forget to listen altogether.
We can’t expect God to speak how we want to hear Him. We have to discipline ourselves to listen. Sometimes it is clear and vivid and loud. But what about when the storm is far away…when life is going great? It might be in this time that we have to listen even closer. What about the days of gentle rain? Can we expect Him to speak with as much power as a thunder storm?
Am I always looking for the neon sign when I could be missing the handwritten letter He left on my pillow?
Wow Lord. Thank you.