I’m a girl. I’m a girl with a dream that sometimes wishes she didn’t dream. I moved to follow the dream. I didn’t come for a man or to ride on the heels of someone else’s hard-earned success. I came to learn, to observe, to try and make something out of nothing. I’m not a prodigy…I don’t even think I’m that amazing. Too often I listen to lies that say I can’t…when in all actuality there are people with half the talent (but far more drive) who do it.
So I go back and forth, judging myself…giving myself ulcers because I can’t deal with the stress of life mixed with the stress of pursuit. I compare what I haven’t done, how old I am, what’s holding me back…and it’s safe to say, I just want to start over. There are days I wish I didn’t know what I know. There are days I wish I didn’t know who I know. There are moments I wish I had another dream…like to be a doctor or politician.
I still feel alone.
I still feel like a failure.
And I don’t know if I can do this anymore.
So does anyone really care? It’s a dog-eat-dog world, and with an attitude like I have at the moment, I’d definitely get eaten…chewed up and spit out…because I can’t even believe in myself, so how or why is anyone else supposed to?
What am I doing?
I have to either step it up or throw it out.
PS – I’m sorry I’m not being very positive right now. And please don’t write some “oh Bridget you’re amazing” comments…because words are words. I need a game plan. So if you have one of those, let me know.