Exhausted

Home again from another crazy adventure…

I guess I just like to make things a lot more interesting than they already are…if this blog makes zero sense, just know it’s because I haven’t had very much sleep lately.

The wedding was great, the gigs were fun.  Even had some friends from a pretty awesome band show up to support me at the ORU show.  That was a huge blessing…especially the feedback afterward (and the laughing)…I respect them so much, so wow…it was so great.  Got to surprise a friend and hang out with some other pretty cool people.  The connections we made this trip are invaluable.  God is showing me that the door He opened probably wasn’t for the reasons I thought it would be.  Because of it, I’ve met so many amazing people…and even if nothing happens as I walk through the door, I know there is a purpose for it being opened (I just can’t see it yet).

Honestly, my eyes are really opening to the reality of what this new life might be.  It’s hard work; nothing comes easy.  You run up against a lot more adversity than encouragement, but at the same time, those moments when you are encouraged mean all the more.  My idea of the future is breaking down as God’s idea becomes clearer little by little.  Yes I shed some tears this trip, but I also have a new outlook on why I’m doing what I’m doing.  Is it for me or is it for God?  Because if I don’t do this simply because I love it and because God has asked me to, there really is no point.

I finally got to really listen to Seabird’s new album “Rocks into Rivers” and something hit home.  The title of the third or fourth track is called “Sing to Save My Life”…during the drive home, Holly and I talked a lot about why I’m pursing this road.  That song stood out for so many reasons.  God reminded me that He’s given me this gift to be used by Him, for Him…to save a life.  Maybe the songs won’t technically save someone’s life, but it’s my hope and prayer that God uses the music to touch hearts…and He will do the saving.  I know His songs saved my life…and I also know it’s for these songs that I face so much opposition in singing them…before I was even born.

This adventure is not about fame.  It’s not about a record deal or a headlining tour.  This journey is about God working on my heart to use me to bring life to people who have lost hope.  So who cares if so and so thinks I can’t succeed or no one shows up for a gig.  God has a bigger plan.

And so now it begins: dealing with the emotion of leaving home and the fear of failure, remembering to trust when I’d just like to quit and run away.  I don’t know what I’ll find on the other side…but someone is out there waiting to hear what I have to say.

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