Back home again from a crazy adventure to Charleston and back. I’ve kept Facebook pretty updated, so just go there to check out what happened. Or ask me…it’s not really anything I’m into blogging about right now.
Coming home has been weird. Honestly, I felt like I was only coming back for a visit…like something clicked in my brain, shutting off the Spokane-as-home thing. Please don’t get me wrong, I love Spokane. It will always be a home with my church family and friends…but I don’t know…it was weird.
The south is different. For one, you can’t go anywhere and expect your food not to be fried or served with butter and barbecue sauce. Organic is a foreign word, and health food? Yeah what’s that? My west-coast comforts didn’t quite exist there. The people are kind, Charleston is a beautiful town (if you stay close to the water), and the weather is pretty wonderful. I was not completely sold on the idea of moving until the last couple of days…but I know God still has a plan for me there.
I’ve been back and forth about this whole music thing. It’s been a battle not to let discouragement really rule my thoughts. I don’t see the next step and I’m honestly not even certain that the step I thought came next is still one I can take. I hate money because I feel it only holds us back from our dreams (if you don’t have it). Even with the doubt and uncertainty, I still feel God urging me to remember His faithfulness. I can’t give into the lie that He won’t be with me.
With that said, I feel to move full steam ahead unless the door before me slams shut. And if it does, then I guess we reevaluate the situation. What else can you do? This life is full of changes and we just have to take them as they come. “Make it up as we go along,” right Aaron? (Some words of wisdom from my cousin)
I finally finished Searching For God Knows What and I cried at the very end. I realized how much I’ve been trying to find the formula to make this life thing work when God just really wants me to reach up and find Him. I don’t know why I continually break His heart when He loves me so much…I don’t know why I’ve felt so alone when He’s always right here. Great…tears again.
I don’t know what tomorrow holds. It’s just one step at a time, one foot in front of the other, praying that I don’t break His heart going my own way.