What do I want to write about? I just felt like writing, so I guess we’ll see what happens:
I’m kind of all over the place with my emotions. Not that I’m riding a coaster or anything (I feel I’ve come a long way from that stage in life)…it’s just been a long week. Not only have I been working my tail off, reality is just starting to hit me. I’m drained and distracted. I finally got to spend some time with my friends (who I feel I’ve been neglecting over the past month) and I realized that our time is limited.
I’ve been blessed to be part of the most amazing church in existence (I know, it’s my opinion) and I don’t know how I’m going to leave it. My pastors and friends have helped me out of the darkest places to bring me back into a life filled with joy and peace. I helped start a thriving young adult ministry…and I’m leaving it all to pursue a desire that’s been in my heart for years.
I know God is telling me to do this, but I’m so mixed in my feelings. However, I was reminded over and over this weekend as I shared about the move, that this will always be my home. Children often leave the nest, but mom and dad aren’t going anywhere. Though I’ll be thousands of miles away, my family will still be my family. Victory Faith will still be there; Pastor Craig and Monie will only be a phone call away. My friends will always be there when I need them…and that is comforting. I don’t have to cut myself off in any way.
Two things could happen and neither will be bad: this move could open up amazing doors for music and set me on a path to continue onward in my destiny or it could cause me to realize how much I miss home and what I had here…and I’ll just move back. As long as I’m submitted to God and His will for my life, I’m okay. He is everywhere…I just have to open my eyes and find Him.
I also have to admit that I struggle in confidence that God is always faithful…but Psalm 30 told me that His favor is for a lifetime. Today’s message was SO good (thanks Pastor Trevor)…and it may not always be easy, but He comes through. I struggle in confidence that I even have something worth sharing with the world. However, I have to remember this life really isn’t about me. By getting scared and backing down, by not taking these steps of faith into the unknown, I might be robbing others of a blessing God wants them to receive. Some plant, some water and some reap the harvest. I don’t know what kind of impact I’ll be making…wherever I go.
One step at a time. I can’t plan farther than this moment…and I have to enjoy the time that I have…right now.