A few years ago, I wrote a song about going straight to the edge of the world’s sanity. At the time, it seemed appropriate for the season I was in, but today that concept consumes me. About two months ago, the Lord walked me right up to the edge of a cliff overlooking my destiny. He brought me there quite some time ago, but I stood back, never quite able to see the beauty of view I was meant to experience because of fear.
Now life is changing, however, and the Lord has gently pushed me closer. With hesitation I’ve opened my eyes to find myself toes to the edge, overwhelmed with freedom that lies below. Over the last couple of weeks, my Father urged me to take the step off the cliff. I told Him God, I have things that have to be taken care of! Things that won’t get taken care of if I do this. God! This isn’t practical! With a smile on His face, He turned to me and said, I know. Just jump. I will catch you.
I remained hesitant, but it seemed everywhere I went, I heard words about taking risks. Over and over again, situations, people, words reminded me that life as usual could no longer be the norm. Normalcy doesn’t exist anymore. I talked to the Lord, talked to my mom, my pastor…I waited, but I could not get away from the call I heard to jump. And then it happened.
Tears flowing down my eyes, I finally surrendered…okay, Lord. You said You are my provider. As my husband, You promised You will care for me. I believe You…so whenever You’re ready, I will go. The moment came when I didn’t expect. Closing my eyes, spreading my arms like Eagle wings, I felt one foot move forward into nothingness. Before I could retract my decision, I was off, wind rushing past my body. I stepped off the edge of Normalcy and into a Reality I will never walk away from.
A reality of faith.
Here I sit, contemplating this slow-motion dive into the joy and peace and grace of God. As I fall the things I see are crazy. Sometimes I find myself thinking it’s all a dream, that I will wake up in the morning with the emptiness of a let down. But I haven’t woken up. Not everything I saw standing atop the cliff has become reality, but it will…because I know I am held by One who is Faithful, whose word never returns to Him void, but accomplishes that which it was sent to do.
A few knots have formed in my stomach today as I wonder if I will succeed in the process. It’s too late now, however…because I already took the step. My life is no longer in my control – exactly as it should be.
We will see what the next month and months to come hold. I am captivated watching the Love of my life work out His plan. He’s such a good organizer 🙂 I expect this to be beautiful because I hold the Hand of the One who holds the Universe. Faith has risen and now I cannot doubt. I must believe.
All to You, God, I’ve surrendered.
The experience is far better than just a beautiful view…