I am always amazed at how God works. Just yesterday, I started asking the Lord to revive my spirit. It began when I read a very brief comment from my friend about this nation: how he had, what he called a “romanticized” love for what America once stood for. Something rose up inside of me, something I haven’t felt since The Call, DC. I wasn’t about to let culture define truth in my life or the lives of my friends…
I wrote this in my journal last night:
I so want to be revived. I know that I’ve been experiencing [a stirring of holy jealousy] with some of my friends. I watch them discover things I used to hold dear and it kind of jump-starts me…because I ask myself why I’m still not walking with the passion and devotion I once had.
Now I “care” more about updating my Facebook every hour than having real face-time with my friends who would encourage me. I’m not spending quality time with the Lord because I find something “better” to do, or am distracted by stupid things. But here, my spirit is crying out in desperation for the Living God – the One true Lover of my soul. And I keep rejecting Him. Why do I keep rejecting Him?
To any average Joe, these comments may seem strange. I’m pretty radical, I guess, as it is. I mean, I finally got the guts to tell my grandparents I was going to Kenya and you would’ve thought I told them I was pregnant. My personal walk with the Lord kind of skipped normal and went right for intense…but even in this, I feel like I’ve been living such a mundane life. I’m tired of being this apathetic! There has to be more…and there is. I just have to sacrifice to find it.
Today, Pastor Craig had a word that brought quite a bit of understanding to what I’ve been feeling. He began quoting Proverbs 29:18 which says that without vision the people perish. Another translation says they cast off restraint – go do their own thing. I used to be a girl with vision, though some of that left when I realized that I couldn’t be the girl with a plan. I have yet to learn that having a plan and walking with vision are different things that sometimes go together.
Anyway, this message was amazing (in fact, I think I’ll link the Faithcast to this blog because there are a few of you I was really feeling needed to hear this!!!) and reminded me not to lose hope. It reminded me that I have a purpose on this earth, not just for myself, but for the Body, for the Nation, and for the generations.
Last night I prayed, Oh God! This is not what You created me to be. I am empty because of the things that fill me up…I know I would not be empty if I just allowed You to consume me. All consuming fire, You’re my heart’s desire! Living flame of love, come baptize us! Let us fall more in love with You. It has to be You first, God.
And He heard my prayer, reminding me today of my hero Josiah – a young man whose passion changed a nation and moved the heart of God. I was reminded of the determination of Elisha who spent his days pursuing the blessing of the Lord through Elijah…and then also reminded me of what happens when I do not go after the things I know God has…poor Joash who could have walked into a huge destiny, but never gave his all…his vision died.
Uhg!!! I do not want to live an easy life…I’m sick of being a church-goer and not a follower of Jesus. I hate to break it to you, but He asked us for a lot more than our heart – He wants our lives: full devotion. Yes, there is the blessing of salvation, but now, what am I going to do with it? (This is a little Bill Johnson and Pastor Craig inspiration coming out here) Am I going to sit on my butt, getting spiritually fat with what I “know,” or am I going to go exercise my faith doing the things Jesus told me to: heal the sick, cast out devils, change the world. Who wants boring when we have battles to fight that we know God can win? Uhg!!! I’m sick of this! Break free…you were meant to impact culture with your passion and not let culture impact you. Get off your duff and do something with your faith! What good is knowing God if we do not?
Wake up! Catch the vision! You were created to live today – God has a purpose for you today. Please, I don’t want to go into this alone…I need you to stand with me and fight…alright?!!
“The Vision Lives”