If You Want to Give Up, Don’t

The clock in my living room is just about to chime 7pm. I should be boarding a plane in Atlanta right now, but instead, I’m not. The past three days have been nothing short of painful and disappointing. I don’t know how, but I’m choosing to praise God in the midst of it.
Many of you were praying right along with me about the arrival of my visa by Saturday morning. I truly believed, hope beyond hope, that God would come through. I decided to make the (what some may consider slightly stupid) choice to purchase an airline ticket before approval because I just believed that much. Wednesday we prayed, no visa. Thursday we prayed, no visa. Thursday afternoon did, however, bring a very unwelcome gift: the worst kind of sickness I’ve had in a while. I was bedridden with a high fever, horrible body aches to the point that I couldn’t move, and a cough that wouldn’t quit. It seemed out of nowhere.
The prayers now included visa approval AND healing because there was no way I would be taking that flight feeling like I did. Friday and Saturday both passed without a visa and I was still feeling as horrible as ever.
On Saturday, my mom tried desperately to change my flight, which should have been amendable for a fee. We found out that, sadly, they couldn’t change tickets on the weekends. It left me no choice. I had no visa, was too sick to board an aircraft anyway, so we cancelled my flight.
The fever made my head spin. When the reality that the door to England may have just slammed shut, I broke down. I couldn’t see up from down and kept asking God why He didn’t come through. Much of this sadness had to do with my illness, I’m sure, but it was a devastating night. Yet somehow woven through the disappointment, I knew God was saying, “the best is yet to come.”
This morning, I woke up feeling some relief. My fever broke at some point in the night. The body aches had almost magically disappeared. I’m still weak and have a persistent cough, but I know that I’m on the mend. That is step one: get well.
Step two is to pray about my next step. I’ve always been bold. Maybe a little too bold in my decision-making. I truly believe God led me to buy my ticket on the day He did. I don’t believe that my visa not arriving or this “flu” is His way of punishing me for something. I just have to look at it like He has something better in store. It did, however, open my eyes to the reality that I need to be a bit more patient in some areas of life. It’s one thing I’m continually learning.
Friends, I do believe I’m still supposed to be in England this year. I will be arriving late, but Tickets are still available at the price I paid initially. I’ve lost a good bit of money and worry about what that will mean in the long run. I want to honor the donations I’ve received already, but pray boldly that the Lord would provide a way to buy another ticket. It’s something I can’t do on my own right now, but if He wants me there, He will make a way.
Maybe you feel like you want to be part of this journey with me, but don’t think you have much to give. I’m telling you $10, $20 makes all the difference. It all adds up. And if you can, please share my donation’s page and the story with your friends.

I’m believing that this is not denial, it’s just a little delayed. If you want to give up, don’t.
Thanks so much for your continued support.

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